Saturday, May 28, 2011

Watching Sports is Easy

A comprehensive guide to watching sports with your friends, family, or significant other.

1. Feign Attention: Generally, not even avid sports fans have their eyes glued to the game at all times as they need to occasionally locate chips and beer. You can feign attention by looking up at the game in intervals. To increase effectiveness, listen for cheering or groaning/yelling type noises. These are indicators that something important has happened in the game.

2.  Participate in Sports Conversation: I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, “but I don’t know anything about sports. “ The great part of following my plan is that you don’t HAVE to know anything. Simply wait until the sports commentators say stuff, then repeat the last sentence. Allow me to demonstrate by turning my television to ESPN. Hang on.... okay, here we go, “If one of these guys find his game, the Bulls are in position to win.” See… I have no idea what that means.

3.  Choose appropriate clothing. Most people will show up dressed in attire and colors symbolizing the team they are screaming at. Since these colors and logos can vary, I suggest purchasing my ‘Go Team’ t-shirt. The black and white color and lack of logo mean overall support for any team or sport. As an added advantage, you will be more promptly notified when the game is over and it is time to leave.  Now you can catch up on your blog, or that book you’ve been trying to finish.


  1. I NEED THIS! Seriously. I need this.

  2. I am headed to two Seattle Mariner games this weekend. I like baseball, but mostly I go to watch other people watch sports. Considering the Mariner's last few seasons, my choice of people watching over game watching is much more satisfying. GO TEAM!

  3. I'm also a people watcher! I'd much prefer to go to the actual game (football, baseball, etc) than watch it on TV, just because it's so much fun to watch people's reactions!

    The good news is that my husband is very supportive, and helps me get dressed for every game. Otherwise, I'd be lost.

  4. This could solve so many problems! And cause so9 many problems...

    Just like beer and sports.

    Boomer Sooner!

  5. Finally! Someone to tell me the way I'm watching sports is correct! Everyone keeps telling me that "I'm not invested enough" but now I feel accepted. I do want that t shirt, it'll make the experience that little bit more awesome.