Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Geek Week

In honor of Geek Week, I have created a series of t-shirts to celebrate scientific concepts. Rather than research these concepts, I will either make them up or create elaborate statements based on stuff I saw once on the Discovery Channel.

They just do, not much explanation required. They are actually making some miniature black holes in a supercollider. This will most likely create a black hole that will suck up the earth. However, if that doesn’t happen, we should use them in vacuum cleaners. If this thing can suck up light, there is no chance for the dirt in my carpet. The very second that Dyson comes out with a black hole vacuum, I am ditching my old one.

Of course, if your parents did go to a parallel universe, the people returning might not be your real parents at all, but some alternate version of them. In fact, you might be living in an alternate universe right now.  Look around at your stuff. Is it really your stuff? How can you prove it is not exact duplicates of your stuff, altered slightly, but not enough to see with the naked eye? This could be precisely why we keep losing socks and car keys.

There is a theory of time where each second branches off into infinite possibilities as it passes. Every instant you make even the most trivial decision, reality divides into all possible paths. With each passing moment, infinite copies of you are darting off into new realities as time splits apart. It is entirely probable that you decided NOT to read a blog about virtual t-shirts right now. You will never know, because you have only the memories in your head to hold it all together. The problem is, according to this theory, that these memories aren’t even real. They are a loose construction of the past you are holding tightly within your brain to avoid slipping into an abyss of uncertainty. This is why I have been making up my own memories for quite some time. I will now leave you with your infinite paths into the future, as I take a moment to look back fondly on my years as a famous teen punk rocker.


  1. I just wanted you to know, I like your blog! :) Lots of us 'lukers' read a blog, enjoy it and never post a comment. I remember when I use to blog, I got very discouraged cause it didn't seem like I got more then 1-3 comments a post and felt like no one was reading, just wanted to let you know....I enjoy it, even though for the most part I shant be commenting. :)

  2. After the day I've had my brain can't process the concept of the theory of time....

  3. This is my kind of scientific discovery!! I've learned so much here. Thx!

  4. Ouch, my brain hurts. I will have to come back to this when it wants to look at those words and not start stabbing me with sharp pains in response.

  5. Okay. Geek Alert.

    (you've been warned)

    But this reminds me of a story from High School. I know. Bear with me.

    Chemistry class, with a teacher who is a complete screw off, who just happens to connect with kids AND teach a mean electron cloud discussion.

    Anyway. He had all these really cheesy bumper stickers he had collected for years. and most of them were so geeky we didn't get them.

    And one day. At the end of the year.. several of us all cracked up at the same time. A whole year of chemistry and we finally GOT it.

    This was the bumper sticker:

    "EVERYONE has Avogadro's number."

    Remember I went to high school back when there were no cell phones and we actually memorized each other's phone numbers...

    Sorry for the LOOOONG comment. And yes I went to college and studied science. I told you. Geek alert.

  6. I guess I don't understand why you would want to punish dirt if they ever did invent a black hole powered vacuum.

    Couldn't you let the no chance rule slide three or four times a month?

  7. If you come up with an understandable explanation for Space Time Continuum (and you can fit it neatly on a t-shirt) let me know. All episodes of Star Trek that feature this topic make my head spin.