@IbecameMyDad has a blog called I’ve become my parents. In this blog, there is a section called My FavoriteTweets where he takes a humorous look at the Google search terms that bring people to his site. I have included a few examples below:
Excerpts from "My Favorite Tweets: On search terms people used to find this blog"
Person who found my blog searching “how do i prove to my parents that my homework is right”: If it’s English, it’s probably not…correct.
To the person who found my blog searching “i just don’t have it”: Try looking under the couch.
To the person who found my blog by searching “i’ll be better to my kids than my parents”: No you won’t. Trust me on that.
My Personal Quest for Random Google Search Terms
Now that you get the general idea, you can see why this peaked my interest. I started wondering what crazy search strings people were following to get to my blog. I decided to take a look, and here is what I found:
“how to identify hippies”
“giant metal chicken would solve everything”
“big metal chicken”
“how to be emotionally stable”
Now I am rethinking the size of the metal chicken I purchased based on Jenny’s not being able to buy bath towels because she already had the beach ones. Aside from that, I am a bit disappointed that these search terms all seem directly relevant to content on my blog.
There was, however, one that stood out:
“ditching your gf”
Now THERE is a gem!
I am assuming this stands for girlfriend and I am therefore feeling a little guilty that my blog is the only frame of reference this poor guy has. Hopefully, he doesn’t try to give his soon to be ex-girlfriend Ally or slip allergy medication into her tea. I don’t even know why they let me write on the Internet. Who is in charge of this thing anyway?
Since I feel somewhat responsible, I will attempt to provide restitution.
--Dear Dude trying to dump your girlfriend, here are some t-shirts for you--
Try starting with the obvious:
If that doesn’t work, you can try this:
Or, you can go for something a little more obscure:
If you don't get the t-shirt above, see this for reference:
Gizmodo, My OkCupid Affair With A World Champion Magic: The Gathering Player
Special thanks to @etoxican for finding the Gizmodo link for me when, ironically, my Google search parameters proved inadequate.
More special thanks goes to @IbecameMyDad for the inspiration, and also to The Bloggess without whom I would not have a medium-sized metal chicken, or even a blog about a medium-sized metal chicken. Come to think of it, she isn’t doing you any favors here.