How to Ditch your GF

@IbecameMyDad has a blog called I’ve become my parents. In this blog, there is a section called My FavoriteTweets where he takes a humorous look at the Google search terms that bring people to his site. I have included a few examples below:

Excerpts from "My Favorite Tweets: On search terms people used to find this blog"

Person who found my blog searching “how do i prove to my parents that my homework is right”: If it’s English, it’s probably not…correct.

To the person who found my blog searching “i just don’t have it”: Try looking under the couch.

To the person who found my blog by searching “i’ll be better to my kids than my parents”: No you won’t. Trust me on that.

My Personal Quest for Random Google Search Terms

Now that you get the general idea, you can see why this peaked my interest. I started wondering what crazy search strings people were following to get to my blog. I decided to take a look, and here is what I found:

“satan t-shirt”

“how to identify hippies”

“giant metal chicken would solve everything”

“big metal chicken”

“how to be emotionally stable”

Now I am rethinking the size of the metal chicken I purchased based on Jenny’s not being able to buy bath towels because she already had the beach ones. Aside from that, I am a bit disappointed that these search terms all seem directly relevant to content on my blog.

There was, however, one that stood out:

“ditching your gf”

Now THERE is a gem!

I am assuming this stands for girlfriend and I am therefore feeling a little guilty that my blog is the only frame of reference this poor guy has. Hopefully, he doesn’t try to give his soon to be ex-girlfriend Ally or slip allergy medication  into her tea. I don’t even know why they let me write on the Internet. Who is in charge of this thing anyway?

Since I feel somewhat responsible, I will attempt to provide restitution.

--Dear Dude trying to dump your girlfriend, here are some t-shirts for you--

Try starting with the obvious:





If that doesn’t work, you can try this:

Or, you can go for something a little more obscure:

If you don't get the t-shirt above, see this for reference:
Gizmodo, My OkCupid Affair With A World Champion Magic: The Gathering Player

Special thanks to @etoxican for finding the Gizmodo link for me when, ironically, my Google search parameters proved inadequate.

More special thanks goes to @IbecameMyDad for the inspiration, and also to The Bloggess without whom I would not have a medium-sized metal chicken, or even a blog about a medium-sized metal chicken. Come to think of it, she isn’t doing you any favors here.