First off, I should tell you that this is no longer the catalog of imaginary t-shirts. If you are looking for the shirts, go to my shiny new WordPress site: The Best Self-Help T-Shirt Catalog Ever. This is now the blog where I will go on about things that are too long for Twitter, and not really appropriate for Facebook. I have been neglecting my FaceBook page, actually. Need to think of something clever to put on there. I am drinking coffee right now. That should do. Hang on a minute...
Okay, I am back. I was thinking this morning that I need do something about the popcorn texture on our ceiling. Often, when my mother-in-law visits, she will complain about popcorn ceilings from the seventies and how awful they are. To her credit, I don't think she realizes that she is sitting in the very living room of a house from the seventies under a ceiling of popcorn that belongs to me. It is a little troubling to me all the same. So, here is my plan.
Step 1. Win the lottery. I know you are going to tell me that it is nearly impossible for people to win the lottery, but I don't think they are trying hard enough. I should be able to do it in a week or so.
Step 2. Pay all the decorating people and decorating books and magazines in the entire world to make popcorn ceilings come back in style again. This shouldn't be that hard. They are probably out there looking for the next new thing right now and it may as well be popcorn ceilings.
Step 3. Pay for my mother-in-law to get a new stylish popcorn ceiling in whatever color she desires. Yes, they will be coming in colors--Bright ones.
And then.... I strike!
Step 4. Get rid of our popcorn ceiling, go over to her house, and talk about how tacky they are.
Winning! And in ONLY four steps. I am so great today.
I know you are thinking that I should have not wasted my time bribing decorators with the popcorn ceilings. You are probably thinking I could have used all this time and money curing cancer or saving children or something. But this is MY fictional money, and I will spend it how I please. Thank you very much.
Side Note: I just realized that all I have to do is slap a picture of a t-shirt on this and it will be just like my old blog. I think the dual blog thing is giving me an identity crisis.
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A popcorn ceiling would be a step up for the poorly-sponged-textured ceilings in my house. I need to get to fixing those.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I will make them come back in style right after the popcorn. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThank goodness you'll be working on the textured ceilings next. That's what we have in our house...but we did it on purpose. It covers up the really horribly drywall taping job that those meth-heads did.
ReplyDeleteI'm so pleased to see what you're doing over here. Luckily Blogger will let you spamand harangue people to your heart's content.
ReplyDeleteFirst it was your kid's viola lessons. Now it's the popcorn ceiling...something tells me that your m-i-l is reading your blog and trying to give you juicy topics to write about.
Your identity crisis is making me nervous. I never know where to go first. ;-)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'd go with the plan you have. Because I gotta tell you trying to remove that popcorn ceiling? Just wouldn't be worth it.
I always wanted to stand on a stool and poke popcorn ceilings. I was a weird kid...Can you get those stick on stars popular again as well?
ReplyDeleteI tried to win the lottery once, and it didn't work. I tried REALLY HARD as well!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I'm also a bit confused by the dual blogs. What should I do about it?
ReplyDeleteThis is going to become a familiar refrain...why two blogs? I have two so I think I know where your mind is but I have an anon. blog and a family and friend-friendly blog. Never the twain shall meet. But, that doesn't seem apply to you?
ReplyDeleteCurious in Blogdramedy Land
I can't just throw away a perfectly good blog, people! Have you thought about those less fortunate who might not even HAVE blogs? Have you?
ReplyDeleteMaybe I could donate it.
I thought those stars on the on the ceiling were already in style. I declare them in style. Everyone go out and get stars for your ceiling. Do it now.
ReplyDeleteThat's just stucco, right?
ReplyDeleteokay. . . wait. . . WHERE am I supposed to go to read your blog?
ReplyDeleteThere are a number of very troubling ridges in my ceiling. I think we had a ceiling cat infestation at some point. (It would certainly explain all of the fur in our heating/cooling ducts). The ceiling here is textured as are the walls and there is no pattern, rhyme or reason to it. It's vaguely disturbing. Maybe I need more tea. So I can kill the oxidants that are leading to me obsessing over my randomly patterned walls and ceiling.
ReplyDeleteI think I should mention that we are in direct competition for the Texas lottery. If you let me win I will donate to your popcorn ceiling plan. Deal?
ReplyDelete