Thursday, October 27, 2011

Halloween Costume Series: Pulitzer Prize Winner

I heard someone say once, and this has always stuck with me, “Most people don’t want to write. Most people want to have written.” The truth about writing is that unless you are writing some ridiculous blog about non-existent t-shirts, it is a lot of hard work. You pretty much have to do all of this hard work whether or not the crap you generate wins a Pulitzer prize. A lot of people just aren’t cut out for that. I’m not cut out for it. Why would I do all that work and NOT get a prize?



This costume is your chance to enjoy the fame and admiration of winning a Pulitzer for your best-selling novel, without the time and energy it would take to actually write a Pulitzer prize-winning, best-selling novel. The beauty of this plan is that you won’t even have to sacrifice the time and energy it would take to create a non-Pulitzer prize-winning crappy novel.

You will still need to think of a fake name and part of a plot for the book that won you this celebrated prize, but that is small price to pay. I would help you think of a name and plot, but it sounds like a lot of work. If I were going to do all that, I would just go ahead and write the damn thing and win my own Pulitzer.

I will, however, be willing to give you some tips based on my own extensive experience of not writing books. One tip is that your plot should be about zombies. They are hot right now. Oh wait, better yet, robot zombies… from the future. Get to work.

6 comments:

  1. That one needs to come with a fake vest and bowtie printed on the shirt.

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  2. Since its fake it will be immediately featured in Oprah's Book Club and hailed as breathtaking, compelling, and a story for our time. I like this idea...

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  3. Reminds me of the guy on 30 Rock, who wears a trucker hat that says "World Champion"

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  4. Or this could be preparation for the future!

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  5. I always wanted to write a murder-mystery-thriller novel called "Loch and Quay" (pronounced Lock and Key, get it?) in the style of a diary...of a serial killer...who leaves the bodies of his victims at the bottom of bodies of water... This shirt makes my writing career so easy now! - @gingerblaze

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  6. Screw the Pulitzer...I wanna be king of the world. You got any shirts that say that?

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