Monday, August 22, 2011

How to improve your life by going, or not going, to Harvard

When someone close to you looks at you and directly asks, “Don’t you want the best for your child?” It calls for a little reflection. However, what I consider best for my child, and what you consider the best could very well be two different things. With all due respect, there are different ways of raising a contributing member of society. --Is that what I am supposed to be doing here? Sometimes I miss the obvious.--

I just want to make sure my kid is happy. If a successful career complete with wife and kids make him happy, so be it. Maybe he wants to be a serial killer, or just loot stores for television sets. That would be fine too.  Perhaps he wants to be a Southern Baptist Snake Handler or a Tea Party Activist. Now he is pushing it, but I would still see my way through to support him.  I just want him to have a fulfilling life, however he defines that for himself. All I ask is that if he is going to be a serial killer, not to bring any severed limbs to the house. We never have any room in the freezer as it is.

This shirt helps serial killers to relate better to the general population. 
Stating you are NOT a serial killer will generally put people at ease. 

Maybe my kid wants to go to Harvard, or the local community college. I am fine with either. Granted, I’m not paying for Harvard, unless it really improves your life in a measurable way.  In that case, I might go too. Has anyone out there been to Harvard? If so, please explain objectively how this experience has improved, or downgraded your life. Also, were you on one of those rowing canoe teams? Are those at Harvard? I have always wanted to be on a rowing canoe team where you row the canoe with the guy yelling through a megaphone, then go out for pints after.  Maybe it is the pints that are appealing. Either way, please advise.


  1. Ignore the haters....that's what I do. Somehow, I think you are on the right track here. 1) You are raising your child to be healthy and happy and 2) you are preparing said child for the Zombie Apocalypse....enough said.

    Although, if it were ME going to Harvard to be on the rowing team (I'm SURE there is a proper name for that - but since I didn't go to Harvard, I don't know it) I'd want to be the one yelling into the megaphone. 1) because I'm bossy like that and 2) it pisses me off to have people yelling at me to row. Or yelling at me for any reason, really.

  2. Oh to go to Harvird and be in that really geeky glee club...sign

  3. Sculling! That is the name of the rowing team! I knew I'd remember that word eventually!

    Oh, and by the way, even if he had been in bed at 8:00 pm, I'd still have to drag him out of bed; that's just the way teenagers work.