Wednesday, January 25, 2012

How to Confront your Fears

Because I am an altruist, I decided to use my Self-HelpT-Shirt Blog (my other Self-Help T-Shirt blog) help you all overcome your fears. Of course, I have no idea what your fears are, so I had to start with mine. Of my three main fears, air travel, eating, and car washes, you helped me overcome all but one.  

Debihen wisely pointed out that the fear of traveling alone stems mainly from the fact that if the plane goes down, you will be forced to hold the hand of the person next to you for comfort….a person who could very well be germy and/or might scream like a girl. Plus it could be awkward later if the plane fails to actually sink to the bottom of the ocean. Luckily, Midianite Manna suggested all of this can be avoided simply by taking along a taxidermied mouse. If anyone happens to have a taxidermied mouse, let’s talk offline.
Lots of people had insight into the fear of eating alone. Gigi suggested impressing all the people staring at you by working a crossword puzzle in PEN. This is what very smart people do. Midianite Manna had an even better idea that if you fill out the crossword in Greek or Cyrillic letters, you will appear even smarter. I fully agree. I suggest you go ahead and fill one of these out in advance. That way, the pressure is off while you are at the restaurant by yourself trying to eat while everyone is staring at you.
MsDarkstar the Creatrix mentioned that she would like to one day dine at the fancy fondue place, but not as a solitary endeavor. I have never been to a fancy fondue place, but it sounds exactly like the type of thing you wouldn’t want to go to alone. She suggests finding an alcove under stairs for your dining experience, a very brilliant idea. However, if people see you lurking underneath an alcove with a fondue pot, they might find you rather strange. I’m going to locate an alcove anyway, so I can have it handy just in case.
Andreas Heinakroon brought up a theory that we feel awkward eating an elaborate savory meal alone because we are supposed to sharing it with our fellow hunter gatherers. This makes total sense to me because I don’t feel odd eating a granola bar alone. Of course, if I was at a table somewhere eating a granola bar, I would be terrified. He admits after stating the theory that it seemed a bit contrived, and I think we can all agree the concept really doesn’t fit in with fondue. I guess he figured he already had the comment all typed out, so he might as well go ahead with it.
Lahikmajoe suggested reading a book or the paper. I think this is a brilliant idea. I don’t know how many of you have actually seen a print newspaper, but they are unbelievably large. A newspaper is large enough to construct a temporary hiding place for yourself as you pretend to read the articles you will later catch up with online or through Twitter. As an added bonus, most newspapers come with a crossword puzzle. Double win for all of us. Thanks everyone for helping me work this out.


As for the car wash, it is an issue left unresolved. Apparently, I am not the only person afraid of the car wash. At least we can all take comfort in the fact we are not alone. If you ever see anyone stuck in a car wash because their car is rammed into it, take them the newspaper you bought for dinner later so they will have something to hide underneath. You don’t have to get them the entire paper. You can give them a section of it, the sports section, perhaps.
All considered, I am very pleased with the outcome of this blog post. I always say that if my blog helps only one person in the world, it is worth all the effort… especially if that person is me.

You can click here to read: How to Confront your Fears. However, I suggest you skip right to the comment section for the really useful bric-a-brac, hodge-podge, and whatnot.

28 comments:

  1. I like car washes. Oh, I have that initial anxiety that I won't be able to get my tire into the groove while "Skippy" motions me forward...no wait a little to the right...back toward the left; PERFECT!, but once I'm in it's quiet and secluded. Just me, purple and blue soaps and water. 3 minutes of solitude. Awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I too like car washes, so the solution to your fear seem obvious, Lisa: ask either Debihen or me to drive your car into the car wash for you.

      Delete
    2. If "Skippy" had any idea what he was doing, he would be guiding planes or something. I don't trust him.

      Delete
    3. Dear Debihen... will you come visit me so you can drive my car through a car wash. Thanks.

      Delete
  2. No, I didn't feel I had to post my comment just because I'd typed it all up thank you very much! It is a well known theory, and I thought it applied to the post even though I didn't personally agree with it. I'm a bigger person than letting personal opinions get in the way of promoting scientific theories (not really: I'm quite the small person. Small and mean.).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I distort scientific findings to my own end so that I can argue with you. That is okay, right?

      Delete
    2. Of course! That's how proper scientific progress is conducted after all.

      Delete
  3. Glad we could help you...errr, I mean your readers out!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Now that I think about it, going to the car wash alone is a lot like eating out alone. The place I go to has an attendant that puts your car on the tracks, then you go to a waiting area while your car is getting washed, and then later, getting towel dried by another attendant.

    The waiting area has the feel of being seated alone at a table for 6....because everybody really is staring at you. Everybody is sizing everybody else up, trying to match the person to the car. Which one of us has the Porsche? Is it the guy in the suit? Or is he driving the beater Volkswagen?

    And you can't hide behind a newspaper or read a book, because you have to pay attention to when your car is done so you can gt outta there as fast as possible.

    It is best to drag someone with you to these events or, at best, you will have to play with your phone while trying to look incognito.

    Another helpful hint: if you have a beater car, dress way up so everybody thinks you're actually the Porsche guy. Conversely, if you are the Porsche guy, dress way down so nobody will suspect you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I drive a car that would not generate much interest. I don't have the patience to sit around and wait for people to wash it though. Plus, having to dress up to distract everyone doesn't really motivate me to get the car cleaned either.

      Delete
    2. Exactly...I hate dressing up for no good reason.

      Perhaps this is why my car is still dirty!

      Delete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It is mainly the anxiety about "Skippy's" ability to help me guide the car in that makes me avoid the car wash.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Be right over...as soon as I can get my car outta the driveway.

    ReplyDelete
  8. For solo, alcove fondue, I suggest this: http://www.amazon.com/Trudeau-Solo-Chocolate-Fondue-4-Pieces/dp/B0026RH6PC

    You might want to get an extra pointy fork to keep away the unwashed masses who smell your tasty fondue and want "just a taste".

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ok...I must confront my new fear: I'm afraid that you are never going to post again! I keep checking both your blogs religiously like some obsessive/compulsive maniac....only to be turned away by no new posts.

    Post something, dammit! I don't have enough money for therapy to deal with this issue! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How terribly irresponsible of me. I will work to remedy the situation poste haste. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

      Delete
  10. I like the valuable information you provide in your articles.
    I will bookmark your weblog and take a look
    at again right here regularly. I am quite sure I'll be told a lot of new stuff proper right here! Best of luck for the following!
    My site ... external hemorrhoid treatment

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your blog is eye candy!! I love reading and looking at the pictures! Love it! customized shirts

    ReplyDelete
  12. Generally I do not read post on blogs, but I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to check out
    and do it! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, very nice article.


    Here is my homepage: home hemorrhoid treatment

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am happy to find your distinguished way of writing the post.SELF HELP

    ReplyDelete
  14. Someone necessarily help to make critically articles I might state.
    This is the first time I frequented your web page and thus far?
    I amazed with the analysis you made to make this actual submit extraordinary.
    Fantastic job!

    Here is my web-site; hostgator coupon code

    ReplyDelete
  15. My family members every time say that I am killing my time here at net, however I
    know I am getting know-how daily by reading thes fastidious
    articles or reviews.

    Also visit my blog post :: Free Samples

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks for being so upfront and funny t shirts designs so honest about the subject matter. I really feel like I have a better understanding now.

    ReplyDelete
  17. informative post keep the good work like this awaiting for a new post keep sharing.

    MT 2 / Melanotan II 10mg
    Frag 176-191 5mg

    ReplyDelete